This month, August 2022, marks one year from when I decided to incorporate decluttering and organizing services into my holistic home business. Since then, I’ve visited dozens of homes and worked with women from a diverse array of circumstances.

A single mom working to support her special-needs child.

A recently-retired professional trying to find a sense of rhythm in her new life.

A software engineer struggling to create a space that supports her artistic spirit and her young son.

An author and blogger overwhelmed by the emotions of family heirlooms that have accumulated in her home after the death of her and her husband’s parents.

A single mom trying to rebuild a life for herself and her two boys after leaving a traumatic marriage.

A busy entrepreneur who is finally ready to take care of herself after devoting all her energy to starting a business in the midst of COVID-19.

I respect each and every one of them so much, because despite their differences, they’ve all done one thing that I’ve realized is very difficult for me:

They reached out for help.

They acknowledged that they’d reached a point with their homes where they could no longer do it alone. They got online, looked for support, and took a chance on me to be the one to provide it. I still cannot believe the amount of trust that these women have placed in me, and it continues to humble me every time I think about it.

As someone who has spent most of her adult life self-employed, I’m well-acquainted with the idea of “doing it all.” Back when I was a professional belly dancer, I did all of my own marketing, website management, social media, finances, etc. Not to mention the creative work of teaching, choreographing, and performing 48 weeks of the year. I didn’t reach out for help very often. It was “easier” to do most things myself. It certainly seemed cheaper. And when it came to creative tasks, I felt super vulnerable opening myself up to feedback and constructive critique.

So I did it on my own.

And when I started Spirit House, I carried on in much of the same way.

I admit, I got a little better. I worked with a life coach for a few months and a business coach for a few weeks. It was great.

But overall, I still don’t reach out for help a lot. It’s uncomfortable. It’s vulnerable. It opens me up to disappointment. And it requires a belief that I and my business are worthy of support.

Oof.

There is it. That word.

Worthy.

One of the core wounds that so many of us struggle with. We become convinced on some foundational level that we are not worthy, that we are not enough, that we are not lovable. I know that, for me, one of my specific worthiness wounds is around being seen and heard - I’ve struggled with these two things for a long time. Which is probably why asking for help is so hard for me; it requires a direct call to others to stop what they’re doing and come assist me. To look at me, to hear what I’m saying, and to respond. And although I’m very consciously working on this, is still makes me uncomfortable.

But if I’ve learned anything in this first year, it’s the beauty that happens when we open ourselves up to the possibility of help. When we soften our outer shells and put out the call for support allowing others to step into our world and bring their expertise, energy, and compassion to assist us in the exact places we most need help. I mean honestly, how freaking gorgeous is that?

But so many of us don’t ask for help. And even when it’s offered, we turn it away! Yes, not all help is equal, but we will never know until we take a chance. The first person who answers our call may not be the best fit, but that doesn’t mean we should stop trying. Or that we should close ourselves off to the possibility of support.

Because asking for help doesn’t make us weak, or stupid, or incompetent.

If anything, it actually shows a level of intelligence and vulnerability that I think is highly admirable.

So as I enter my second year doing this work, I’m endeavoring to take greater inspiration from my clients.

I’m going to ask for help more often.

I’m going to change my mindset around it, especially where my business is concerned. I’m going to intentionally be optimistic, believing that when I am ready to ask, the right help will arrive.

xo,

Joanie

What going pro taught me about myself

Hygge your way to happiness

9 questions to ask yourself BEFORE buying organizing products